Pirates of the Caribbean SUEvivor
by Jade Snape-Holloway
Summary: Ten Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sues...Nine challenges...One winner...Who will be the Ultimate POTC SUEvivor? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

SUEvivor: Season two: Pirates of the Caribbean.

A/N: If your wondering why the title is SUEvivor: Season two, it's because I wrote a SUEvivor for Harry Potter. Don't worry. You will still understand this fic even if you haven't read season one. Anyway, please review! J

CHAPTER ONE: MEET THE MARY SUES.

Ten Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sues…..Nine challenges…Only one will be the Ultimate SUEvivor!

Mary Sue #1: Catalina, the NewPirate!Sue. //picture goes to a bleach blond Sue with 'eyes the color of the sea,' dressed up like Chloe the pirate Brat //

Mary Sue description: The most fierce pirate in the seven seas, she's also the most beautiful. She's a feisty, kick ass pirate queen. Jack is in love with her. Her parents were murdered at a young age.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 58 (over 50 is insanely high. Means she's a huge Sue).

Mary Sue #2: Roslyn, the BoardTavernKeeperLookingForAdventure!Sue. //picture goes to a scowling Sue with 'copper curls' and 'sharp eyes'/

Mary Sue description: A lonely girl who watched her parents die, she is tough as nails and can throw three men out of a bar at once. Jack is also in love with her. She is also very nice when she wants to be. She wears a dress that shows off too much skin and is way too tight.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 4o (still incredibly high).

Mary Sue #3: Jade, the Author!Sue //picture goes to a 'golden blond' girl with 'deep brown eyes' wearing an outfit like one of the pirate Bratz//

Mary Sue description: Yes, she's the typical author insert. Since the author took a quiz and it told her she would be a pirate Sue, that's what type of Sue she is. She likes her parents, so the did not tragically die. She can still kick ass cause ya know, I'm a Sue. I love Jack, I guess.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 54 (though I don't know how).

Mary Sue # 4: Liza, the I-Fell-In-To-Pirates-Of-The-Caribbean!Sue. //picture goes to a girl with 'auburn locks' and 'storm grey' eyes, dressed like a slut//

Mary Sue Description: She was obsessed with POTC. She watched the movie three times a day and listened to the soundtrack non-stop. Then one day, a portal opened up in her DVD player and she fell through! Now she acts like a now day person, but no one cares cause she's pretty. Will is in love with her.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 64!!!

Mary Sue #5: Mary, Will'sLongLostSister!Sue. //picture goes to a women who looks like Will, only as a gorgeous women//

Mary Sue Description: She was tragically taken away at birth, and never met her brother. She lived in poverty and angst her whole life, but now she lives with her dear brother and Jack is in love with her.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 57.

Mary Sue #6: Zsarojiu, the ExoticSlaveGirl!Sue. //picture goes to a sad, timid looking women, with 'raven locks' and 'sea green' eyes//

Mary Sue Description: She was brought here as a slave and was bought by Will. Now she is full of angst because she was raped, abused, her parents died, adopted by horrible people, and she has never known love. She cries every chapter. She is in love with Will. The author named her Zsarojiu even though it's not a word because it sounds like it's from another country.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 58.

Mary Sue # 7: Jessa, the StowAway!Sue. //picture goes to a tough looking, but beautiful Sue wearing guys pirates clothes//

Mary Sue Description: She's running away from her abusive parents and she chooses to stowaway on the Black Pearl. She is nice and sweet, but beats Jack at sword fighting and is kind of a bitch. Jack is in love with her.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 54.

Mary Sue # 8: Kristina, the Lady!Sue //picture goes to a stern looking Sue, who kind of looks like Elizabeth//

Mary Sue Description: Some call her the Elizabeth!Sue, because she is pretty much her clone. 'Nough said. Will is in love with her.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 32.

Mary Sue # 9: Jackie, the Jack!Sue. //picture goes to a Sue that looks just like Jack, only as a girl//

Mary Sue Description: She can be 'her own character,' or Jack's sister. Either way, she's exactly like Jack. If she's not his sister, she's in love with him.

Her score on the Mary Sue Litmus Test: 62.

Mary Sue # 10: Ally, the Criminal!Sue. //picture goes to a Sue with 'wavy, flowing brown hair,' and a 'mischievous smile.'//

Mary Sue Description: Her parents were tragically killed when she was little, so she raised herself on the streets, living off what she could steal! Jack is in love with her, of course. He's amazed by her ability to steal anything she wants and never get caught.

So there's all the Mary Sues. Next chapter will be their first challenge!

A/N: In case somebody hasn't seen a pirate Brat doll, they wear stuff like striped stockings, thigh high boots, mini skirts, tiny little shirts, too much make up, huge hoop earrings, and bandanas. That's why I say Jade!Sue and NewPirate!Sue are dressed like that. 


	2. Challenge 2: Questions

SUEvivor: Pirates of the Caribbean.

A/N: If anyone recognizes this challenge from my last SUEvivor fic, then yes, I'm using it again. Hopefully it will be different from the last fic. Hey, it's hard to think up something for TEN people to do in one chapter!

CHALLENGE 1: QUESTIONS.

The ten Mary Sues were standing on a beach, waiting for anything to happen. So far Zsarojiu had burst into tears and Liza had let it slip that she was a time traveler (seven times).

"I love beaches. They remind me of Lost!" Jade the Sue said.

"Hey, look!!! There's a ship coming!!" Jessa cried, pointing to the horizon.

"Aye, so thar is!!" Catalina said, standing up and drawing her sword.

"Please stop talking like a stereotypical pirate," Jade the Sue said. "Hey! Ally just robbed me!"

"I did not!" Ally snapped, quickly hiding Jade's purse.

"Sues, Sues, we must try to get along!" Roslyn told them, trying to restore peace throughout the group.

"What's all this bloody fighting?! Some of us are trying to sleep!" Jackie cried, staggering up to the others.

"And don't get me started on you, girl! Your not Jack Sparrow!" Jade the Sue snapped.

"People, the ship is here," Mary said quietly.

A row boat was coming up to the shore. When it got there, the author hopped out.

"Hello, Mary Sues! Welcome to SUEvivor: Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm your host, Jade, but call me Jade H., for Host," Jade H. said. "Are you ready to see your new home?"

All the Sues nodded.

"Then follow me!" Jade H. lead them to the row boats (more had come to take them to the ship) and they all got in. Soon they were at the ship.

All the Mary Sues got out and stood on the deck as Jade H. stood in front of them.

"For the next nine weeks, you will all live together on this ship. Once a week, one of you will be voted out. You will complete nine challenges until one of you is named the Ultimate POTC Mary Sue. I'll let you all get settled then I'll come back for you when the challenge is ready." Jade H. told them.

"Alright ya pathetic excuse for pirates, I get the first pick of the beds!" Catalina said.

"I said stop talking like a FREAKIN' PIRATE!!! You're a Mary Sue!!" Jade S. screamed.

"Well, this should be fun!" Jackie said.

Meanwhile, the others had gone off to find there rooms.

"I call dibs on the top bunk!!" Jessa cried, jumping on to her bed.

"I'll just sleep on the floor, like I did when I was a slave. I was a slave you know. Have I mentioned that?" Zsarojiu asked, but no one was listening to her.

"I want the bottom bunk, then," Kristina said in a very dignified voice. But then Liza knocked her out of the way and put her stuff on the bed instead.

A while later they had all gotten their stuff put away. Catalina was standing at the ship's steering wheel thing with a compass, turning the wheel every now and then.

"You know this ship isn't going anywhere, right?" Ally asked her.

"You shush up, or ya walk the plank!" Catalina growled. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"My ship is MUCH bigger then this. It's called 'The Dark Pearl.' And it's totally different from 'The Black Pearl'!" Jackie said. She was staggering around shouting orders to people, much to Catalina's annoyance.

"Hey, there's Jade H.'s ship! It must be time for our first challenge!" Mary said.

Soon, Jade H.'s ship came up to the Sues and Jade H. got out.

"Ready for your first challenge?"

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Jade H. and the Sues entered a tavern that was empty all except for two people: Jack Sparrow and Will Turner.

Liza started screaming and jumping up and down. "OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S WILL AND JACK FROM THE MOVIE!!!" Then she covered her mouth. "I mean…I'm not a time traveler!"

"Will! How have you been?" Mary cried, running up to hug Will. Will stared at her. "Do I know you?" he asked.  
"Don't be silly," Mary said, then she dug her finger nails into his arm. "I am you sister, and your going to play along"  
Will stared at her. "Ow."

"What the bloody hell do you think your doing?!" Jack cried. Jackie was challenging him to a duel.  
Meanwhile, Ally was trying to rob him, Jessa was trying to get on The Black Pearl, and Liza was trying to get a lock of his hair.

"OK, that's enough! Sues, these men are your judges, not your victims. Now, on with the challenge. What's going to happen is, Jack and Will are going to ask each of you a question that any TRUE Sue could answer perfectly," Jade H. told them. "Please sit down."

All the Sues took a seat at the bar. Immediately, people came up and stuck patches with wires on them on the Sues arms.

"…The hell?" Jade S. said as she watched one of them stick a patch to her forehead.

"You are being hooked up to lie detectors and AMSQAA machines. The AMSQAA is the Absurd Mary Sue Questions Answer Analysis machine. It shows how ridiculously Mary Sueish your answers are. Jack, Will, you can start," Jade H. said.

"Right. Our first question is for Catalina," Jack said. Catalina smiled smugly. "You're a Pirate!Sue, so what would you do if we met on the open seas?"

"Oh, that's easy! I would pretend to hate you to add sexual tension to the story! Then we could get into fights and I could beat you at everything!'' Catalina said.

Jack and Will looked impressed. "OK, now for Roslyn. What would you do if me and the rest of The Black Peal crew came into your tavern?"

"I would listen in on your conversation about going treasure hunting and then convince you to take me with you by being so Sueish," Roslyn answered.

Jack and Will nodded. "Alright, Jade S., since you're an author insert Sue, how would you 'subtly' praise your author?" Will asked.

"I would exaggerate all of her looks to make her beautiful, use her name, and build up everything she does, even if it doesn't matter," Jade S. told them.

"Mmm hmm. OK, Liza, someone finds out your not from the Caribbean. What do you do?" Will asked.

"I kick their butt to intimidate them, therefore making them so afraid of me, they don't tell anyone. Or, I just have my author kill them off," Liza said after thinking about it.

"Kay, now Mary. What do you do if Will forbids you to date me because I'm such a bad influence on your innocent mind?" Jack asked.

"Oh, I would defy my beloved long lost brother and we would run away and have a totally romantic night. Then he would realize how wrong he was, and Jack and I would get married!" Mary said, clapping her hands. Jack edged away from her.

"Umm, anyway, Zsarojiu : What are the tragedies in your life?" Will made the mistake of asking.

Zsarojiu blinked back tears. "I was abandoned at birth and raised by wolves. Then I was adopted by horrible people who abused me and loved my half sister more. Then everyone died in a fire, and I was captured by pirates. They sold me into slavery and raped me. Oh yeah, so did my adopted father. Then I broke a nail!" All the Sues gasped. "Oh, you poor thing! I've never broken a nail before!" They cried.

"Wow, that was tragic. Anyway, Jessa, you're the StowAway!Sue. Why did you decide to leave your home?" Jack asked Jessa.

"Well, my parents were trying to force me into an arranged marriage, and I never want to be married. Not after all the hurt I've been through at the hands of other people! I wanted to be free, so I went on a ship to go treasure hunting!" Jessa said.

"OK, Kristina, what do you say to people who tell you you're an Elizabeth!Sue?" Will asked.

"I tell them that that is utterly ridicules! I can't be the clone of Elizabeth. My name is Kristina and I'm blond! Besides, Elizabeth is dead in my stories," Kristina said. The lie detector beeped a little. Kristina's eyes got wide. "Oh, fine! I am the carbon copy of Elizabeth! Happy?"

"What do you mean Elizabeth is dead?!" Will cried.

"Never mind that, Will. Now Jackie, how are you possibly different from me?" Jack asked her.

"I'm a girl and my name is Jackie," Jackie said, pouring rum down her throat.

Jack shrugged. "Good reason. Alright, Ally, why do I fall in love with you?"

Ally shook her head. "Because I impress you with my theft abilities, of course! I mean, I am good. See?" Ally was suddenly wearing Jack's hat. "You never even saw it coming!"

"Hey! Give me the hat!" Jack demanded.

Ally smirked. "No"  
"Do It!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"What do you mean Elizabeth is going to die?!"

"OK, that's enough!" Jade H. interrupted. "We need to figure out the results."

"Right. OK, Catalina, you did not lie to us about your answer. AMSQAA gives your answer a level of nine, ten being the highest Sue level. Roslyn, yours is six, Jade S.'s is nine, Liza got an eight, and Mary got a nine. Also, Zsarojiu got a ten, good going, Jessa has a nine, Kristina, you lied, so that takes your score down. You have a four." Kristina looked outraged.

"Jackie, your really weird and since you're Jack in women form, you got a five. Last but not least, Ally. Your answer got a nine. The hat trick was very entertaining," Jade H. looked over at Jack, who was trying to snatch his hat back as Ally held it over her head.

"Anyway, tonight's immunity winner is…. Zsarojiu!" Jade H. announced.

Zsarojiu looked like this: OoO "What?! I can't be voted out?!"

"Yep. Sues, the voting ceremony is later on tonight. See you then."

XOXOXOXOXO

A few hours later it had gotten dark and all the Sues were on the ship. Ally was still wearing Jack's hat.

"Hi, Sues!" Jade H. said.

"How did you get here?!" Liza demanded.

"My hosting powers. Anyway, it's time for the voting," Jade H. said. She held up a hat that looked a lot like Jack's. "One at a time, you will all come up here and write down who you want voted out, then you will put it in this hat. Zsarojiu won immunity, so she can't be voted out, and she'll go first."

Zsarojiu slowly came up to the pirate hat and wrote a name on a piece of paper. She held it up to the camera and said, "I'm voting for Mary. I'm the only Tragic!Sue around here!"

One by one all the Mary Sues voted and stood back as Jade H. picked up the pirate hat.

"First vote, Catalina."

Catalina raised her sword threateningly.

"None of that, now, Catty. Next vote, Kristina…. Mary….. Catalina…. That's two votes Catalina, one vote Kristina, and one vote Mary. Next vote, Ally…. Ally…. Kristina…. Liza. And the first person voted out of SUEvivor, Pirates of the Caribbean is….."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"….Kristina."

"Wha-Bu-Huh?" Kristina sputtered. "Why me? I'm so original!"

"Sorry, Kristina, bur none of us can deal with people who lie like you did. It's a disgrace to Sues everywhere. And you really are just a knock off of Elizabeth," Roslyn said apologetically. Jackie looked around nervously.

After watching Kristina storm off, Jade H. turned to the Sues. "Alright ladies, see you next week!"

END OF CHALLENGE ONE.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor PIRATES: Ally and Jessa form an alliance and Jade S. and Liza become friends. Jackie and Catalina continue to clash over leadership of the Sues and it leads to a shocking twist in the game!

A/N: I know it wasn't very funny, but after ya write about seven Sues, it takes the life out of ya. The less Sues there are, the better it gets, so keep reading! And thank you, reviewers:D 


	3. Challenge 3: Treasure hunt

SUEvivor: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

A/N: Thanks to the reviewers! You people are great:D

CHALENGE 2: THE TREASURE HUNT

It had been a while since the Sues last challenge. It seemed everyone was sick of someone else, mostly Catalina and Jackie. Their need to be the captain of something was causing them to fight every few minutes.

"God, you two are worse then me and my sister!" Jade S. cried.  
Liza nodded. "Wait…I don't know your sister…Oh well, that seems about right!"

Mary rolled her eyes. She had come up on deck to get away from Zsarojiu , who was insisting on cleaning everything in sight.

//Mary's camera//

"This bites. I'm supposed to be the Tragic!Sue around here! Why does she have to steal my thunder with her stupid sob stories?!"

//normal cam//

"STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!! THIS IS MY SHIP!!" Jackie screamed at the top of her lungs.

"IT IS NOT YER SHIP!! IT'S MINE, I DIBS IT!!" Catalina shouted back.

"Not anymore, I'm commandeering it!" Jackie said, taking out her gun. "You will always remember this as the day your ship was commandeered by Jackie….Um…Blackbird!"

"You can't commandeer it cause I'm commandeering it!" Catalina cried, taking out her own gun.

"I SAID IT FIRST!"

"BITE ME!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Roslyn screamed. Everyone stared at her. She was usually so quiet!

"Well, it worked," she said defensively.

Meanwhile…

Ally and Jessa were sitting on their beds talking quietly.

"So, pretty crazy with two captains…" Ally said.

"Yup."

"I was thinkin'… When ya think about it, we're both outlaw Sues…I mean, you're a StowAway!Sue and I'm a Criminal!Sue…Maybe it would be best if we form an alliance…" Ally said.

"Hmmm…Yeah, sure. Why not?" Jessa said absent-mindedly.

"Exxxxcellent..." Ally whispered.

//Ally's camera//

"It's my plan to form alliances with as many Sues as possible. That way they're unsuspecting when I vote them out. Also, Jessa was a stowaway, so she can sneak around easily and get me information. Do I think I'm using her? No…Maybe a little, but it's SUEvivor! What's a TV show without backstabbing?"

//normal cam//

"Hey, I got an idea!" Zsarojiu said excitedly. "I think it could help settle the fighting between you two!"

As Zsarojiu told Jackie and Catalina, Jade S. and Liza started talking about stuff.

"So, I really am a time traveler, you know," Liza told her.

"Liza, everyone knows that already," Jade S. said.

Liza frowned. How could they possibly know that?

"It's cool. I'm from the future, too, but I'm not supposed to be," said Jade. S.

"Cool. Do you spend all your time watching POTC and obsessing over it?" Liza asked happily.

"I'm a little busy obsessing over Lost and Harry Potter," Jade S. said dully.

"Oh…Wanna form an alliance?" Liza asked. "Ya know…I won't vote you out if you don't vote me out…"

"Kay."

"Cool."

"SHIPS AHOY!" Catalina cried, pointing to Jade H.'s ship.

Jade S. jumped up. "Chips Ahoy?! Where?" Then she saw the ship. "Crap, more challenges, more work."

Jade H. joined them on the deck of the ship. "Hi Sues. Ready for your next challenge"  
She didn't give them a chance to answer, but just jumped back on to her ship. All the Sues followed.

They kept on sailing for a while till the came to a beach. Jade H. and the others jumped out.

"Somewhere on this beach, nine treasure trunks have been buried. Your challenge today is to find one trunk before nightfall. Ready? Start!" Jade H. told them and they left.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Catalina//

"This be an easy challenge fer me!" She bragged. "I've spent me whole life lookin' fer treasure. I never have a problem finding it!"

She surveyed the beach in front of her. There was no sign of something having been buried there. The only thing moving were a few people playing volley ball. She smiled and marched up to them.

She pulled out her sword and gun. "ALRIGHT YA SCURVY DOGS! GET TO WORK, ALL HANDS ON…BEACH! START DIGGIN'!" She screamed, shooting the pistol into the air.

The players started screaming and rushed off to start digging. She turned to the camera and smiled. "See?"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Roslyn//

"Hmmm," Roslyn said, looking at the beach in front of her.  
"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do!" She started digging.

That's not funny, so we'll come back later.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jade S.//

Jade S. sulked down the beach, looking for some clue as to where the treasure was.

"Ya know, I don't think there really is any treasure. I think they just said that to see if we'll do it," she said. She looked up at the sky and sighed. "I have no idea. WHY GOD?! WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTTING ME IN THESE SHOW?!?! WHAT HAVE I-AAAAA!!!"

Jade S. spit out a mouth full of sand and looked up. She had fallen into a giant pit and was sitting on something hard. Looking down, she found she was sitting on the treasure trunk!

"Hallelujah, baby!" She screamed. "Wait…Now how do I get it back to the ship?"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Liza//

Liza walked down the beach looking for signs of treasure. When she saw nothing, she looked around sneakily and laughed. "Mawhahahaha!"

When she was sure no one was watching, she took a metal detector out from nowhere and began covering the beach with that.

"And people think technology is bad!" She laughed as the detector started beeping annoyingly.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'VE WON!" She screamed, digging franticly through the sand.

TEN MINUTES LATER….

"YES!!!" Liza dragged the treasure chest out from the hole.  
"This is gonna be one great challenge!"

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Mary//

"I have no hope of finding treasure," Mary said sadly. "I can't do anything right." Then she looked at the camera. "See?! I make a damn good Tragic!Sue!"

"Hmmm," she said. "This is going to be hard. Maybe I'm on the wrong beach…" Then she stopped and smiled. "Ya know, there wasn't anything in the rules about using special Sue powers. In fact, it's encouraged!" Mary pulled on a chain around her neck and held the pendant in her hand. It looked kind of like Elizabeth's necklace in the Black Pearl movie, except in was a little different.

"See this? I've had it forever and it has super powers! I can even control the ocean if I wanted to!" Mary told the camera crew. Everyone looked at her expectantly. "What? You want me to do it NOW?!" They nodded. "I don't want to!" Mary said annoyingly.

"Anyway, watch this:" Mary held the pendant up to the sky. "O great Sue powers, grant me with the ability to find this treasure!" The pendant started glowing silver and a blue blast of electricity erupted from in, blasting a crater into the sand.

Mary ran up to the hole in the sand and looked in. "YES!" She cried when she saw the treasure chest waiting for her.

"Look out other Sues, ya can't beat me now!"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Zsarojiu//

Unlike all the other Sues, Zsarojiu didn't start looking for her treasure on the beach. She had other plans.

She soon found what she was looking for: Guys.  
She tossed her hair and made sure she looked really sad so they would be more sympathetic to her. It helped that she was still wearing her sluty slave clothes.

"Excuse me," Zsarojiu whispered. All the guys turned to look at her and some even fainted at her beauty.  
"Have any of you seen a bunch of people burying a treasure trunk?"

"Yeah, but we're not supposed to say," one of the guys said.

Zsarojiu made her eyes filled with tears. "B-but that trunk was my only possession! All my things were destroyed in a fire! Those people stole it from me!!!"

"No they didn't! We know your on SUEvivor!" One of the guy's girlfriend said angrily. She didn't look happy about the Sue trying to seduce her boyfriend away.

Zsarojiu ignored the lesser, mortal women. "Please tell me. I could make it worth your time," she whispered seductively, tossing her hair and moving into a sexier pose.

"Are you saying you'll have sex with him if he tells you?!" The women screamed, standing up.

Zsarojiu looked surprised. "No, actually I was going to make cookies for them, but I could do that, too."

"OK, they went that way and they buried it right next to that coconut tree!" One of the guys said quickly.

"Thank you! I'll make sure you get your cookies!" Zsarojiu said, and the guy fainted as she walked away.

She stopped next to the coconut tree and started digging. A few minutes later she came to the chest.

"Yes! Oh, this is wonderful!" She cried as she brought the chest up. "I hope I win this challenge!"

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Jessa//

"Yeah, so I'm pretty good at this sort of thing," she said as she walked down the beach. "I can track stuff even when there's no tracks"  
She noticed the skeptical look on the camera crews' faces. "What you don't believe me? Fine, I'll prove it!"

Jessa picked up some sand and looked at it closely. "Hmmm. According to the way the sand is laid out, someone walked this way just a while before we did!" She leaned down and looked at the ground. "Yep, and they were carrying something heavy, like a treasure trunk!"

"How can you possible know that?! Nobody can get that from sand!" The camera guy burst out.

Jessa grinned. "No normal person can get that from sand, but I'm a Sue! What kind of Mary Sue would I be if I didn't have an idiotic talent?!"

Slowly, looking at the ground all the time, Jessa walked over the a certain point on the beach. "Mmm hmm, here's where they treasure is." She started digging and just like she said, there was the treasure!

"See? I'm that good!"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jackie//

Jackie, unlike all the others, was not on a beach. She wasn't even on land. Jackie was laying in her hammock, asleep with a bottle of rum in her hand.

The camera guy (let's call him Joe) reached over and shook her shoulders. She slapped his hand.

"Uh, Jackie, time for your second challenge…." Joe said.

"Get outa my room…" Jackie moaned, rolling over.

"OK, I give up," Joe said, and he and the others left the room.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Ally//

Ally hid behind some rocks and watched as some people hid the treasure trunk. She turned to Joe and whispered, "I know we were supposed to wait till they had hidden the trunk, but I'm Criminal!Sue, what do you expect?"

As soon as the people had buried it, Ally quietly went up to the trunk and started digging.

XOXOXOXOXO

//back on the ship//

All the Sues were gathered on the deck (except for Jackie), Jade H. pacing in front of them.

"OK, so Catalina?" she started.

"Aye?"

"You didn't actually find the treasure, you scared a volley ball team into doing it for you."

"Aye."

"Roslyn, you actually did the work honestly, but it was boring, so your not going to win immunity," Jade H. told her. "Jade S., you fell into the pit and found the treasure, so I don't know if that counts or not. Liza, you used a metal detector, which is not legal, but was interesting, so you still have a chance. Mary, you had a very Sueish way to find the treasure: Stupid powers! That was a good choice. Zsarojiu, you had a very Sueish tactic: Seducing people! That was good. Jessa," Jade H. turned to her.  
"Those tracking skills of yours are bizarre, but funny, so it works. Jackie, um, forgot, and Ally kind of cheated. Tonight's immunity winner is….."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"….Mary!"

Mary jumped up and down cheering.

"OK, Sues, you can go back to your ship now-" Jade H. started.

"I object!"

They turned around to see Jackie.

"I have an announcement. Zsarojiu gave me and Catalina a great idea on how we could solve out leadership issues: Divide the Sues into teams! I would be the captain of the good team, and Catalina would be the captain of the stupid one," Jackie said.

Jade H. was surprised. "Um, OK, sure. "

"How will we decide whose on the teams?" Jessa asked.

"Me and Liza will be on Catalina's team," Jade S. said.

"Ally and I have an alliance going, so we ought to be on the same team," Jessa said, looking at Ally. They both nodded. "We'll go with Jackie."

"So will I," Mary said.

"Then I'm going to Catalina's team!" Zsarojiu insisted.

"OK, well, let's just get on with the voting, shall we?" Jade H. asked. "Sues, you know what to do."

Mary went first and voted for Zsarojiu again.

After all the Sues had voted, Jade H. went up to the hat and read the votes.

"First vote: Catalina. Second vote: Jackie. Jackie. Zsarojiu. That's one vote Catalina, one Zsarojiu, and two votes Jackie. Next vote, Ally, Liza, Jackie. And the second person voted out of SUEvivor: POTC is…."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"…Jackie."

"YES! SEE YA LATER SUCKER!!!" Catalina screamed.

"B-but I just got a team!" Jackie said desperately.

"Jackie, the tribe has spoken," Jade H. said, and Jackie sulked away.

"Sues, I'll see you next week for your next challenge."

END OF CHALLENGE 2.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: Mary takes over leadership for Jackie's team. Meanwhile, the two teams clash during a challenge.

A/N: Wow, that was a short challenge. I think the next chapter will be shorter. Please review:D 


	4. Challenge 4: The sailing challenge

SUEVIVOR: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

A/N: Thanks to anyone who reviewed. Please review this chapter! )

CHALLENGE 4: THE SAILING CHALLENGE

A week had passed since the last challenge. No one was really surprised that Jackie had been voted out.

The teams were doing very well. They had all moved to separate sides of the ship and had named there teams something that no one could pronounce or remember.

Jade S. and Liza were now good friends. They both had a lot in common since they were both from the 21st century and both author inserts.

Jade S. was lying in her hammock. "Man, this outfit is uncomfortable! It's just too tiny!" She cried, trying to make the skirt a little longer. "How did someone manage to make a skirt with such little material?!"

"You think you have it bad? At least your clothes resemble pirates! I have to wear 21st century sluty teenager clothes!" Liza said, gesturing to her hip hugger jeans and tube top. "It's a wonder more people don't notice."

"Do they ever notice?" Zsarojiu asked. Ever since she stopped competing with Mary, she was a lot less annoying about her tragic past.

Speaking of Mary, she had become the captain of the Qaoulhou team (Jackie's team). Catalina's team was called Team Sparkles because Catalina was less serious then Jackie or Mary. If your wondering, yes it was hard for them to have two different teams on one ship, especially when they all still had to compete as one (the team thing was mostly so Jackie and Catalina would both feel important).

While Team Sparkles was lounging around at there side of the ship, Team Qaoulhou was busy planning out a strategy.

//Mary's cam//

"Yes, I'm aware that in the end it doesn't matter what team wins. I just think it will be easier if Team Qaoulhou works together to get rid of Sparkles. That way we'll only have to worry about our team mates!"

// Team Qaoulhou's cam//

"I got an idea!" Ally said suddenly. "We steal some Hot Topic clothes and-"

"Would you stop suggesting we steal something?!" Mary cried.

"Alright, we BUY some clothes at Hot Topic and lure the Mary Sues out of the ship," she said.

"OK, then what?" Jessa asked.

"Well, that's up to the cannibals," Ally said in a satisfied sort of tone.

"Why do you come to team meetings?" Mary demanded.

"I like to be included."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

// a few hours later//

Jade H. was again standing in front of the Sues.

"Ladies, today's challenge will take place right on this very ship!" She announced. All the Sues frowned in a confused yet beautiful way.

"Today you will all have to work together on this challenge, because your challenge is getting this ship to sail!" Jade H. told them. "As you know the whole time it's been here it's just been sitting here in the sea, so know you have to make it sail! Good luck," Jade H. said. Then she muttered, "Your gonna need it!" Then she got back on her ship and sailed away, cackling.

All the Sues stood on the deck of the ship, staring out to sea. The only sound was the water on the ship and the wind blowing.

They all looked at Catalina expectantly.

"Uh….What'd ya want?" She asked, abandoning her pirate attitude.

"Your always talking about what a great sailor you are! Tell us what we need to do!" Jessa said.

"Uh huh…..Actually….I don't know the first thing about sailing. My author knows nothing of it, that's why she never makes me say anything about sailing. If you've noticed, all I ever do is pretend I don't love Jack," Catalina explained, taking off her pirate hat.

"We did notice," Jade S. said.

Zsarojiu started crying. "This so totally figures because of my horrible life!"

"I can't believe this! None of us can sail, either!" Ally cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"Well, how hard can it be?" Mary asked. "Just put the sails up and let the wind take care of it!"

"Yeah, that might work," Liza said slowly.

"Alright, get ta work ya no good…. Oh hell, I'm runnin' out of pirate-y insults," Catalina said sadly.

So for the next few minutes, Catalina ordered people around, telling them to raise the sails and all that.

When they were finished, the ship was sailing nicely.

"I can't believe there are people who don't know how to do this! It's so easy!" Mary cried. "We did it perfectly!"

"But probably we didn't," Jade S. said dully.

"Huh?"

"The ship is sinking."

"Oh. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" All the Sues screamed as the ship sunk into the ocean, taking them down with it.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Jade. H paced in front of the Sues angrily. The Sues were all dripping wet and shivering.

"OK, how did you manage to sink the ship?" Jade H. said slowly.

All the Sues looked at each other. "We have no idea."

"Well, you failed the challenge and ruined your temporary home, so no one wins immunity," Jade H. informed them. "Go back to your new place."

The Sues were lead to a wrecked ship that was crashed into the beach.

"At least we can't sink this one," Jade S. said.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Voting ceremony//

Since none of them had one immunity, Liza had just gone first. She voted for Ally.

Soon all the Sues had gone and Jade H. had taken the hat up to the front of the ship. She still seemed mad as she read the votes.

"First vote, Zsarojiu. Second vote, Ally. Next, Catalina. That's one vote Zsarojiu, one vote Ally, and one vote Catalina. Next, Zsarojiu. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor, Pirates of the Caribbean is……."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"……Zsarojiu."

"What? But I'm so tragic!" Zsarojiu sobbed.

"Zsarojiu, all you did during this challenge was stand in the corner and cry," Jessa told her. Zsarojiu got up and ran away crying.

All the Sues headed back to their ship.

END OF CHALLENGE THREE.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: There's even more cliché-y-ness when the Sues compete to see who can be the most cliché!

A/N: Just so you guys know, I really have no idea about sailing. Don't ask how the ship sank, it just did. Please review:D 


	5. Challenge 5: The Cliche challenge

SUEVIVOR: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

A/N: Thanks to any reviewers! You guys make the world go around:D Please review this chapter! I'm aware that I left Roslyn out of the last chapter and the other. Sorry, Roslyn. She's in Mary's team.

CHALLENGE 4: THE CLICHÉ CHALLENGE

So after the last shocking episode, nothing interesting had happened. All the Sues were sick of staying in the drafty old ship and couldn't wait to get back to their normal one.  
Catalina wasn't taking to being a failure pirate queen very well. She was standing on the deck of the ship, turning the wheel dully and seeing 'Yo ho yo ho, a pirate's life for me,' over and over.

Jade and Liza were pointing out all the annoying things about being a pirate. So far they had 1: Have to wear dumb clothes, and 2: Have to be on a ship. They were really bored.

"So, if you had to choose, would you marry Paul Morlock, Sawyer Ford, Carl Kolchak, or Severus Snape?" Liza asked her.

"Well, Carl is annoyingly mysterious, but the only not 'bad boy.' Hmmm… Yeah, I'd still go with Snape today. How about you?" Jade asked in a bored tone.

"Sawyer!"

"Amen!"

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE SHUT THE !(o&$ UP!!!?" Mary screamed. She and Roslyn were working on a strategy to win the game, but it apparently wasn't going well.

"That's it! I'm taking a nap!" Jade screamed.

"Why?"

"Well, nothing else to do."

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Jade H. was coming onto the Sue ship to announce the challenge. She boarded the ship to find all the Mary Sues laying around, some sleeping some just staring.

"Look. Something mildly interesting," Jessa said, pointing to her.

"Hey, shouldn't you guys be fishing, or plotting stuff into your cameras or something?" Jade H. asked them.

"Just give us the challenge," Ally snapped. "Why didn't I go on Mary Sue Bachelor?!"

"Fine, you whiny brats! Your challenge today is to perform the most cliché fan fic scene you can manage!" Jade H. told them there challenge and stormed away.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Catalina//

Catalina was standing on the deck of her ship, with Jack Sparrow.  
She decided to act out a scene where she and Jack fought, because she figured that had to have lots of sexual tension! Catalina cleared her throat and glared at Jack.

"What the bloody hell do ya think your doing on my ship?!" She screamed.

"Umm, you brought me here…Oh! Um, we're taking over!" Jack said.

"Over my dead body you are!" Catalina said, drawing her sword.

"That sounds good," Jack said.

So the two of them danced around the deck, fighting and stuff. The rest of the crew didn't seem to notice or care. They were so tired of this seen.  
Jack knocked the sword out of Catalina's hands and pushed her to the ground. He pinned her arms to the floor and grinned at her. "Well, this is interesting."

Catalina's eyes flashed with anger. They looked even more stormy when she was emotional. Then they turned blue when she was sad, red with anger, green with happiness, and pink with love. They were basically like perfect, beautiful mood rings. Not that us readers care, but ya know, she is a Sue.

Anyway, with a show of inhuman strength, Catalina pushed him off of her and he crashed into the railing thingy.

"Don't mess with me, Sparrow. And never touch my hair," Catalina hissed. As much as she hated the drop dead gorgeous pirate, she also wanted to make out with him. She couldn't understand what these strange feelings were, though they should have been pretty obvious. Could the fierce pirate queen be falling in love?

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Roslyn//

Roslyn was all set up for this challenge. She was wiping off a bar in her cozy little pirate tavern, waiting for Jack and his crew to come in. She was wearing a dress with a ruffley white top and a red skirt. Over that was a black corset like thingy that flattered her form perfectly. It made her waste look insanely tiny and her boobs were so big they defied gravity, which doesn't sound hot, but apparently was. Her hair was up in sexy copper curls that shadowed her round face. Again, not that we really care.

She was just giving this un-hot guy his rum when she heard the door open. Jack came in followed by some of the nameless pirate dudes. They all walked over to a table in the back and sat down. That's right: THE WHOLE CREW.

Roslyn was intrigued by the super hot pirate. She could just tell that he was talking about something fascinating, so she casually walked over to them, pretending to be cleaning something.

" So then I was like, 'I'm SO not gay!' and he was all like, 'I don't care.' And then he-"

"Excuse me, did you say something about going to find some hidden treasure?" Roslyn interrupted.

"Umm, no. I was just telling my friends about something," Jack said, looking at her like she was crazy.

"If your going to find treasure, I want to come!" Roslyn insisted.

"But…we're not…"

"What do you mean I can't go because I'm a woman?! I can be just as good as a man!" Roslyn cried.

"I didn't-"

"Why should I tell you why I want to go?" Roslyn said. "Oh, fine. I've been cooped up in this stupid tavern for so long, I must get out! I want adventure!" Roslyn said dramatically.

"I have no clue what your talking about, lady."

"Ugh! Didn't anyone tell you you were going to be part of my challenge?!" Roslyn demanded.

"No…?"

"Confound it, man! You've just lost me the immunity award!" Roslyn cried, storming off.

"What the hell was that?"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jade. S//

It's a well known fact that Mary Sues spend all their time exaggerating the author. Jade S. decided that was the only author insert cliché possible, since things would very from author to author.

So Jade S. set up the scene where Jack, who was obviously in love with her, was describing her.

//Jack's POV//

He watched that beautiful girl who was standing on the dock, ordering around her crew. He had never seen anyone so hot. It didn't matter that she was a teenager, he still wanted her. She was mysterious. He just couldn't figure her out. Or maybe he just couldn't figure out why she would start laughing at nothing in particular.

Anyway, she was hott, with two T's! She was wearing a micro-mini, and a black tank top with a skull on it. Her hair was as golden as the sun, or….gold. It was up in a black and pink bandana. She was wearing clunky boots that laced up and went to her knees, and pink and black stripped stockings. Of course, what's a pirate stereotype without huge hoop earrings? 

He gasped as she looked over at him. Her eyes were so deep and brown it was like looking into pools of dirt. I mean chocolate. Oh well, they both sound stupid. They were full of angst, even though she had nothing to angst about and was quite happy. Her lips were perfectly sculpted and stuff. They were hotter then any other lips in the world (their not, but ya know, let's just pretend). They were so hot, Jack though he would get burned if he kissed them. He still wanted to, of course.  
Oh, what else? Umm, she had a perfectly shaped nose? Perfect skin tone? Yep, that's about it.

Jack didn't care if she was nice or had a personality or anything. He was in love with her on looks alone.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Liza//

Liza was standing on Jack's ship. Surprisingly enough, no one had questioned her outfit.

Liza looked around. For as fun and exciting as the movie was, this was damn boring! She pulled out her ipod and started listening to the songs the author likes at the time. The first song was an Evanescence song, to show off how angstty she was.

"Ay, what is that?" Some random pirate asked.

"Oh, um…nothing…" Liza said, putting the ipod back into her pocket.

"Gosh, why did I think that would be a good idea?" She thought. So instead of that, she whipped out her laptop and began searching the Hot Topic store's web site.

"Whata ya doin', girly?" Demanded another pirate.

"Buying a corset style shirt on Hot Topic," Liza said causally. Then she realized what she was doing and quickly threw the lap top over board. "I mean, nothing!"

"God, I can't do anything here!" Liza though angrily. She then began putting on all her make up. She ignored the stares she was receiving from the pirates, who had no idea what she was doing. When she realized people were watching her, she turned around and screamed, "I'M NOT FROM THE FUTURE!!!"

"Well, that's good enough for us," said the pirates, turning back to their work.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Mary//

Jack and Will were walking through (insert random pirate related town) when they came across a guy yelling at a women. She was cowering away from him and crying. Will and Jack were both amazed by the angst.

Then the dude, who was un-hot because ugly people are always evil, started beating her. No reason, just, you know, cause.  
Jack and Will both jumped in. Jack pulled Ugly Guy off the super gorgeous woman while Will pulled her away and started questioning about her if she was OK.

"How dare you touch a pretty women? Stupid un-hot guy!" Jack screamed, throwing the guy down and kicking him repeatedly.

"Wow! Your so pretty!" Will gasped. "If only I wasn't going to marry that bitch Elizabeth-Wait a minute, Elizabeth isn't a bitch! Who wrote that?!"

"Yes, I am gorgeous. But the point is, I am your sister!" Mary cried.  
Will and Jack gasped.

"You never told me you had a sister!" Jack cried.

"I don't have a sister! Where is my fiancé?!" Will cried desperately.

"Of course he never told," Mary said loudly over Will's ranting. "That's because he never new. You see, I am his twin and we were separated at birth!" Mary declared.

"Oh…Then how did you know?" Jack asked.

Mary frowned. Then she opened and closed her mouth like she was about to say something. Then she just glared at Jack.

"How dare you poke holes in my plot?!" She screamed.

"Well it's not my fault you have an overdone and unexplainable plot!" Jack said defensively.

"Alright, no sex scene for you!" Mary said.

"No! I'm sorry! Please! I take it back! Your's is the best plot ever!" Jack sobbed.

"Seriously, where is Elizabeth?!"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jessa//

For Jessa's scene, she decided to go over what happened when Jack found her hiding in The Black Pearl.

She forced all the pirates back on the ship and gave Jack a script she had written. See? She was prepared. Then she hid herself in some tiny space somewhere and waited for the scene to play out.

Jack was wondering around the ship reading his script. "Ahem. 'Oh when w-will I ever find true…//turns page// um, love?'" He read while pacing around.  
" 'Life is so bloody lonely for a pirate. Argg.' Argg? I never say 'argg'!" Jack said.

"Stick to the script!" Came Jessa's muffled voice from somewhere in the ship.

Jack sighed but continued reading. "Uh, 'if only I could…//turns page// find someone to settle down with-WHAT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Settle down! That's a good one!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Jessa smacked him in the head.

"Ow! OK, OK. Um, right, uh…Oh, here's my place. 'If only I could find someone to settle down with //snort// I would be the happiest pirate on the seven seas. Suddenly, Jack sees bread crumbs leading towards Jessa's hiding place-Oh! Sorry! That wasn't what I was supposed to say!" Jack cried, slapping his head.

He pretended to be noticing the conveniently placed bread crumbs that were leading to Jessa's hiding place. He found her and looked back at her script. " 'Oh my god. A women hiding on my ship! Who are you…wench?' Wench?"

Jessa stood up. "I am Jessa. I have been hiding on your ship for days to escape my cruel adoptive parents and an arranged marriage!" She declared.

" 'Oh, OK. Wow, you are beautiful-OK, this is just getting corny!" Jack cried, looking towards the camera people.

"CUT!" Jessa screamed.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Ally//

Ally's scene was going to be one where she stole something from Jack while they were in, I don't know, Tortuga or something (A/N: Huh, I just found out that Tortuga was a real place! No idea!).

Jack was standing there looking confused. Ally hadn't bothered to give him a script and so he had no idea why he had been magically transported to this place.

It was raining so it was even more dramatic when Ally ran up to him and grabbed some money from him and ran away.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, BITCH?!?!?!" Jack screamed, running after her.

Ally had disappeared into the crowd, but it wasn't long before Jack saw her mowing down all the drunk people. It was impossible to miss her gorgeous brown hair, even though it was raining and everyone else had brown hair.

Jack jumped and landed on Ally, knocking her out and taking his money back.

XOXOXOXO

//voting ceremony//

All the Sues were gathered around Jade H. as she took another long pause. Hosts always do that. Isn't it annoying?

"OK, so this went well!" Jade H. said. All the Sues glared at her.  
"Well, compared to last time!"

"I would just like to say that Jack and Will are very uncooperative," Roslyn said angrily. Everyone else nodded.

"Well, you've got to admit that you guys are pretty annoying," Jade H. pointed out.  
"Ally? How you doing?"

Ally was holding an icepack on her head and muttering curses about Jack.

" 'Nough said," Jade H. said. "Jade S., your scene was very clichéd, and went well, so you win immunity!" Jade S. started doing a weird dance.

"Now for the voting," Jade H. took out the pirate hat and let Jade S. come up.

Soon all the Sues had voted and were waiting for Jade H. She took out the first piece of paper. "First vote….Catalina. Roslyn. Liza. Roslyn. That's one vote Catalina, one vote Liza, and two votes Roslyn. Next vote, Liza. Roslyn. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor, POTC is….."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"….Roslyn."

"NOOOOO!" Roslyn cried. "But I'm so cliché!"

"Sorry," Jade H. said.

Roslyn ran off cursing them.

"Sues, I'll see you next week."

END OF CHALLENGE FOUR.

NEXT TIME ON SUEvivor: The Sues are brought to Exile Isle to survive on their own. Who will survive and who will crack? Tune in next time for Exile Isle!

A/N: Thanks if you reviewed, and please review! D 


	6. Challenge 6: Exile Isle

5/11/07 SUEVIVOR: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

A/N: Thank you reviewers! Ya know, it's hard to type when eating an apple…

CHAPTER FIVE: EXILE ISLE

No one could believe that Roslyn had been voted out. But then, she was pretty boring.  
Speaking of boring, life on the SUEvivor ship was just that. At the moment all the Sues were laying around doing nothing. Well, Jade S. and Liza were playing rock, paper, scissors and Mary was sobbing at her camera.

"N-no one in this stupid game appreciates my talents! I think I should just quit! I'm surrounded by imbeciles! I can't believe that I left my two kids to do THIS! H-hi little Jamie, and Angie!"

"Oh, would you stop? You don't have any stupid kids!" Ally snapped.

"You've ruined the illusion, bitch!" Mary screamed.

Did I mention that tension was running high?

"I wonder what the challenge will be?" Liza asked, trying to ignore Mary, who was smashing things against the wall.

"I don't know," said Jade. S. "You got a plan yet? You know, to stop the others from winning?"

"Nope. You?"

"Well…no. I can't think of one. Though I never tried to think of one…"

"Hey! Look! It's Jade H.'s ship!" Jessa cried, pointing to the ship.

"Oh thank god! Something mildly interesting!" Jade S. said, jumping up.

All the Mary Sues stood back to let Jade H. on board.

"Hi Sues! Having fun yet?" She asked.

They glared at her.

"Hey, no one ever said you people would be entertained while on the show! Your competing to become the Ultimate Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sue! You'll go down in history as the best one ever! Isn't that good enough?" Jade H. demanded.

…..Silence.

"Just say yes!"

"Yes!"

"Great. Now, I have you challenge for you: It's called Exile Isle. What's going to happen is each of you will go to separate places on the island and try to survive for one day and one night. You will not speak to anyone, including your fellow Sues. You will have to hunt your own food and make your own shelter, because I have a feeling it's going to rain. Oh, and watch out for friendly natives. And by 'friendly' I mean cannibalistic," Jade H. waved to them as she got back on her ship.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Catalina//

"Why do all challenges start with me?" Catalina wondered as she stared out at sea.  
Six row boats had come to their ship a few minutes after Jade H. had left and they had taken each of the Sues off in different directions. Now as Catalina sat in her boat with her silent companions (the people rowing the boat), she began to get nervous. There was a thick fog, which had come out of nowhere and now she couldn't even see the ship behind her.

"Are we almost there?" She asked one of the pirates.

He didn't say anything, just pointed out in the distance. Looming out of the fog was a skull shaped island. "Of course."

What seemed like an hour past until they got to the island. The pirates pushed Catalina out of the boat and rowed away, laughing evilly.

"Well, this doesn't look so bad," she reasoned as she turned to the island.  
It was wet and the sand looked sort of grey. The trees were dark and animals screamed from the jungle. Alright, it was horrible.

The first thing Catalina did was set up camp. She seemed like a silly little Sue, but she was quite capable in a pinch.  
She dragged some giant leaves out of the jungle (and got pelted with fruit by the monkeys) and set them up in a very complicated way to form a shelter. Once that was done, she laid down in her 'house' and started thinking of ways to train the monkeys to do her biding. Then she wondered why it was called 'biding.' She didn't plan on biding on anything.

By then it was almost sunset. She noticed she was very hungry and decided to go ask the monkeys if they would share their fruit.

Catalina trekked into the dark jungle, jumping every time a monkey screamed or what ever they do, to the great amusement of the monkeys. Finally she stopped walking. "Crap, I'm lost!" The monkeys laughed at her.

"QUIT MOCKING ME, MONKEYS!!"

She was immediately hit by flying fruit.  
"Ha ha, stupid animals! Fruit was all I wanted! Now eat this!" Catalina hurled a rock into the trees.

Her happiness at triumphing over monkeys was short lived because she remembered she was lost in a jungle with friendly cannibals.

Catalina started eating fruit as she walked away, trying to decided which way to go. In the end she headed the wrong direction.

XOXOXOXOXO

//later//

CRASH! "AAAAAAAAAAA"  
Catalina dove for cover after lightning snapped a branch off a tree above her. Thunder roared and lightning…lightninged. Catalina had never been through a storm out in the open like this before. Sure, maybe on a ship, but she always went down into her cabin. We all know she couldn't actually be a captain.

She pulled some of the big leaves over her and cowered down on the ground. She turned the camera in a Blair Witch Project style. "I'm so pissed off at this show right now!" She sobbed.

Eventually she fell asleep….and the monkeys carried her off to their lair.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jade S.//

Jade S. got to Exile Isle the same way Catalina did, except with different pirates. They pushed her out of the boat and she landed in the water. "YOU !&#!!!" She screamed after them.  
She dragged her self to the island and sighed. "Wow."

She decided that she wanted to sleep in the jungle (that always sounded fun!), so she made a shelter out of jungle stuff. Hey, don't question it. She's a Sue. She doesn't need explained.

She sat in her tent thing, thinking about ways to get food. She hated fish, and Catalina already got fruit, so that wouldn't be entertaining. She decided eating forest things would be good, ya know, like leaves and whatever else.

She walked around the jungle, looking for things that looked edible. The real Jade barely knows how to avoid poison ivy, but she's not a Sue. Jade Sue knew lots of plants. All but one. And she happened to pick that plant.

After a nice dinner of weird plants and such, she laid down. Jade S. felt kind of weird ever since she ate the purple and pink plant with tentacles.

"Wooow….." she gasped as the sky turned purple and sparkling silver stars started shooting across the sky. Then they fell out and dropped to the ground with whooshing sounds. (In the real world, it was rain.)

"This is so awesome!" Jade S. said getting up. The ground seemed to be softer then usual.

"Isn't this cool?" Asked a sparkly blue frog.

"Yeah, but I'm not supposed to be talking to anyone…" Jade S. said.

"Oh please. Whose gonna tell? That tap dancing monkey over there?" The frog asked.

"Yeah, I guess your right."

Jade S. and the frog talked the rest of the night.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Liza//

Liza had been on the island for a few minutes now. Nothing had gotten done because she was screaming, "HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!!" over and over again.

Finally when it became clear that no one was going to help her, she started walking around the island to find a place to sleep. Jade H. had said something about rain and her silk shirt just couldn't get wet like that. Before she did anything else, though, she remembered what all clichés had to do when on an island: Wear skimpy clothes.  
She used her super Sue powers to summon a bikini and a sarong thing and commenced to exploring.

She hiked through the treacherous jungle. It was hot, so she was sweating and somehow that made her even hotter. She pushed her way through vines and whatnot until she came to a waterfall.

"Wow! That's beautiful!" She gasped. Then she got the idea that swimming in it might give her more points.  
She dove in and splashed around for a few minutes. "That ought to do it!" She said, getting out of the water.

She walked for hours. It was night time and she was hungry, but couldn't find anything to eat.  
Eventually she came out of the jungle on to the other side of the beach, where there happened to be lots of caves.  
"Perfect!" She exclaimed, running into the biggest cave she could find. The camera crew, who were half dead from walking so much, dragged their way after her.

"This is so awesome!" She said. She laid down in her cave and fell asleep as the rain started.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Mary//

Mary's first thought as she came to the island was, "Why God? Why did I go on this show"  
The pirates had thrown her out of the ship and she didn't like that. Now she was covered in wet sand and her perfect hair had seaweed in it.

She stomped up to the beach and looked around. There didn't seem to be anything.  
She wondered around for a while before she decided to eat dinner. And that would take her all night.  
Mary went into the jungle and found a long stick and a sharp rock. She then started sharpening the stick.  
A half hour later she had a kind of spear and was ready to go fishing.

Mary stood on the beach with water splashing her. Every now and then she would throw the spear into the water, but never caught a fish.  
Finally, she was sure she saw one. With all her might, she brought the spear down….and she fell in, too.

"AAAAAAAAAA!!! I-HATE-THIS-ISLAND!!!" She screamed, slapping the water with the spear.  
With a sob, she stuck the spear in the water point first and stood there. When she took it out, she found the smallest fish ever flopping on the sharp part.

"HAHAHAHA!!" Mary laughed insanely. She pulled the fish off the spear and ran back to beach and started trying to light a fire.  
When it became obvious that rubbing two sticks together didn't work, she started banging to rocks together in hopes they would spark. Somehow they did and started cooking her fish. Course, then the rain started.

Mary sat under a large leaf chewing on her nasty fish and glaring out at the ocean. She really hated this show.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jessa//

Jessa on the other hand, knew all about survival from her hard life as a stowaway. She had always had to survive on almost nothing.  
In the time it took Mary to catch a fish, Jessa had already set up a shelter made of coconuts and was drinking their milk while eating fruit and fish.

When the storm started, she just shut the door she had made and fell asleep on the pillow she had made.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Ally//

Ally had no intention of building a shelter out of leaves or coconuts. She was a thief and had stolen a tent from some place. Now all she did was pull the string and she had herself and nice little shelter. "Uh huh. I'm just that smart," she bragged.

Now for food. She had heard about those cannibals, but decided she could use her Sue powers to get out of anything too bad. She walked on into the jungle, planning on stealing food from the natives (they ate other things then people, right?).

XOXOXOXOXO

//later//

Well, the plan had not gone so well.  
She had come to the cannibals camp or whatever and started distracting them so that she could steal some bananas and stuff. But when normal people saw a beautiful Mary Sue with the power to charm anyone, the cannibals just saw a meal.

She wasn't quite sure what was going on, but they had locked her up in a room, tied to a poll.  
The cannibals had never seem someone with long, brown hair and her mischievous green eyes, so they didn't know if they should worship her as a goddess or eat her.

Ally gasped as the cannibals came into the room. There was at least four of them, and the all kind of looked like the ones in POTC Dead Man's Chest. They sat something down on the ground and started putting stuff on her face. "Crap, their seasoning me!" Jessa though. But then she noticed it was make up.  
Two of them smeared red marks down her face and outlined her eyes in blue, then green, then red. They even put red zig zags on up her arms.

When they were done, they untied her and sat her on the thing on the floor. It was like a pedestal that they carried around.  
They raised it up on their shoulders and carried her out of the room into the jungle, chanting something.

Ally couldn't believe it. Normal guys worshiped her because she was so pretty, but this was insane! Men, women, and children were screaming and chanting and all that around her.

"Wow," she thought. "If they don't eat me, I could get used to this!  
XOXOXOXOXO

//morning for Catalina//

Catalina woke up to find herself surrounded by monkeys. They were pulling on her long blond hair and poking her with sticks.  
She sat up gently and the monkeys ran away screaming. She found that the monkeys had piled coconuts and mangos and such all around her and had been making sure she was safe that night!

"Wow! Thanks guys!" She said, patting a monkey on the head. It promptly bit her hand.

"Ugh. Little freak," she muttered, gathering up her food and leaving.  
The monkeys escorted her back to her little tent. She sighed with disappointment when she found that the storm had destroyed it. But to her great surprise, the monkeys helped her rebuild it! (Apparently it wasn't only humans who were affected by her Sueishness!)

The rest of the day was spent playing with monkeys.

XOXOXOXO

//morning for Jade S.//

Jade S. woke up in the afternoon, feeling kind of dizzy. She vividly remembered her trippy dream, but when she noticed the remainders of that weird plant, she began thinking that it wasn't a dream after all.

Originally she thought, "I could make millions for this!" but then she thought she could keep this part of the island a secret. Then she decided she shouldn't take anymore of the plant, because it seemed wrong.

"That was so weird," she said. Then she noticed something weirder. All the camera men were laying on the ground drooling. They had taken the plant, too.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//morning for Liza//

Liza woke up starving! It had started storming before she had a chance to eat.

She left her cave to find a coconut. They were everywhere.  
Liza picked up a giant one off the ground and started banging it against a rock. Nothing.

After a few more tries (and a lot of cursing), the coconut broke….emptying all of it's milk or whatever's in there.  
Liza threw the remains at a tree with a shriek.

She tired this again and again until she finally got enough to drink.  
Maybe this wasn't going to be such a bad day!

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Mary//

Mary woke up under her leaf, covered in sand, with her hair totally messed up.

She pealed a lizard off her head and sat up. She was hungry, so she went back into the ocean with her spear.  
She sighed and started watching the water for signs of fish.

Something big swam by her. Her hunger drove her to wade in further.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Mary screamed, falling back in to the water. She stepped on a rock and cut herself.

With a moan, she dragged herself back to the beach and laid there as the SUEvivor medical team looked her over.

"Wow," said one of them. "This is really bad. I think we should bring back to the un-Sue world so you can get to a hospital."

"B-but that means I forfeit the game!" Mary gasped.

"Yeah, but this could get infected. It's a bad cut."

Mary miserably let them take her off the island and therefore off the game.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jessa//

Jessa woke up to the sun shining over her shelter.  
She got up and took a shower in the shower thing she had made. She had made her own shampoo and conditioner, too.

After that she ate breakfast and drank coconut milk.

Things were great for her.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Ally//

Ally slept on a bed of tropical bird feather. The cannibals had kept her from getting wet from the storm and were now fanning her with palm leaf.

She propped herself up on her pillows and gave orders. She made them bring normal food, because they kept bringing her things that looked a lot like human. And they were missing a camera man.

This went on all day until it was time to leave. The cannibals didn't want her to leave, so it took several people to get her out without anyone being eaten.

XOXOXOXOXO

//voting ceremony//

"Well, Sues, you all did great, but there will be no ceremony today," Jade H. announced.

All the Sues gasped.

"Mary got hurt while on Exile Isle."

All the Sues gasped again.

"Well, didn't any of you notice she wasn't here?!" Jade H. demanded.

They all shook their heads.

"Alright, well get back to your ship. I'll see you next time for your next challenge."

END OF CHALLENGE FIVE.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: Jessa reveals a secret that could help her win the game, and she gets into a fight with Catalina.

A/N: God, this is a long chapter! Please review for all my hard work:D 


	7. Challenge 7: The dating game

SUEVIVOR: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! And thank god for on line translators! I owe them so much! Oh, and I got the number of the chapters all screwed up on the last chapter. I thought this should be chapter 6, but the chapter list says the last chapter was. So here's seven.

CHAPTER 7: THE DATING GAME

All the Mary Sues had left their ship and gone to see Mary. Mary was staying back at her house and was still depressed because of missing the last challenge.

"Poor Mary," Ally whispered. "I would kill myself if I lost this game!"

"Really?" Catalina said. "Well, then I'm sorry I caused your death because I'm gonna win!"

"Oh bite me."

"So, was being a cannibal fun?" Jade S. asked Ally for the millionth time.

"I told you it was awesome! I don't want to talk about it anymore!" Ally said through gritted teeth.

Mary sat in a big arm chair, wearing a bath robe and eating ice cream out of the container.  
Liza was doing her hair to make her feel better and Jessa was watching soap operas with her.

"No, really, I'm glad you guys are doing well on the show. I just…just c-can't believe I lost!!!" Mary burst into tears.  
This went on for about an hour before Jade H. said it was time to go.

"Yeah, it's too bad Mary's off the show," Jade H. said as she lead them back to their ship. "She never even got a chance to go out with Jack for her next challenge."

Everyone stopped. "….What?"

Jade H. smiled. "Yep. That's your next challenge! It's called The Dating Game. Each of you will go on a date with your fan fic boy friend and whoever has the most cliché, Sueish date wins immunity!"

All the Sues started screaming and ran into the ship to get ready.

XOXOXOXOXO

Jade H. was waiting for them on deck a while later. All the Mary Sues looked better then ever thanks to make up on their already flawless faces. Plus their clothes were really hot.

"Alright, when I call your name, I'll announce who your going out with and you'll go. First up: Jessa!" Jade H. said.

Jessa looked surprised. Catalina was supposed to go first!

Jessa nervously stepped forward. Jade H. smiled at her. "Congrates, you got Jack!"

"YAY!!!" Jessa screamed.

XOXOXOXOXO

"OK," Jade H. told Jessa and Jack. "Your scene is you telling Jack all about your travels as a stowaway. Ready? Go!"

Jessa was standing on the deck of the for some reason empty Black Pearl. She gazed up at the stars. She decided that was romantic enough, stars, moonlight, Jack, and her secret weapon.

Jack, this time having a script, came up with her.

"Hello, Jessa," he read.

"Hello, captain."

Jack grinned. "I like the sound of that. So, why did you say you were hiding in my ship?"

"Because I could not marry that horrible man. I escaped my abusive parents by hiding on a ship. Not this one at first, I have been on many."

"That's so tragic. It must suck to be so pretty that everyone falls in love with you," Jack read, frowning.

Jessa sighed. "It really does suck. I have traveled all over the world by being a stowaway,"

"Really? I bet that was fun."

"Yep. I learned tons of languages."

"Say something."

"Il cricco, l'amo. Lei è la luce nel mio buio. Ho bisogno di lei. Possiamo avere il sesso adesso?" Jessa said in Italian.

Jack gasped. It wasn't part of the script, but hearing her speak the language of love was almost to much for him to handle. "W-what did you say?"

"I said, 'Jack, I love you. You are the light in my dark. I need you. Can we have sex now?' "

The camera guy was conveniently holding a lap top and went to a translation web site to see if that was true. What she really said was: 'The cricco, the hook. She is the light in my darkness. I need of her. We can have the sex now'  
The camera crew started laughing.

Then Jessa turned to Jack. "Ou ce mieux est ? Oui, le Cric, vous êtes vraiment incredable. Je vous aime avec tout mon coeur et ne veut rien plus alors pour nous être ensemble. S'il vous plaît pouvons-nous avoir le sexe?"

Jack leaned on the rail of the ship to keep from falling over. "What…what did you say there?" He gasped.

"That was French for, 'Or is this better? Yes, Jack, you are really incredible. I love you with all my heart and want nothing more then for us to be together. Please can we have sex?'

Again the camera guy translated what she really said: 'Or this more better is? Yes, the Jack, you are really incredible. I like you with all my heart and does not want nothing more then to be for us together. Please can have us the sex?'

"You got it, hotty!" Jack cried, jumping on her. Jessa smiled. French and Italian. Works every time.

"OK, guys, there are children watching! Well, they MIGHT be, but still stop that. Seriously, this is a family show!" Jade H. cried, banging Jack and Jessa's heads together till they stopped making out.

"Next up, Catalina!"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Catalina//

Catalina's scene was on where she and Jack got drunk on a beach. Jade H. stood by the camera crew and they waited till she said, "Action!" So there she was, laying on a beach late at night, next to a fire and pouring rum down her throat.  
Jack was telling her all about his adventures at sea and was slurring his. "…And then they made me their chief," he was saying.

"¡Dios, yo soy atascado aquí con un borracho imbécil!" Catalina muttered.

"W-what's that now?" Jack asked.

"I said, ' God, I'm stuck here with a drunken moron!'" She told him. "I speak Spanish, you know."

The camera guy went to see what she really said and it wasn't that funny: God, I I am stalled here with a stupid drunk!

"Well, that's very interesting," Jack said. He went to drink more. Then he realized that the bottles were all empty.

"It would appear that we are out of rum," he slurred.

"It would, indeed," Catalina agreed.

"Then we shall have to find some other means of keeping ourselves…..entertained," Jack smiled suggestively.

"Sparrow, I don't think I've had enough rum for that!" Catalina said, getting up.

Jack caught her by the arm. "W-what if I told you that you were by far the most beautiful woman in the Caribbean?"

"Then I would say I know," Catalina said impatiently.

"OK, come on! You know you want it!" Jack said.

"Please," Catalina scoffed. "I've been with plenty of pirates. You just want some of this!" She started striking suggestive poses.

"Are you kidding?! Have you seen how many fics there are staring me and a Sue?! All I have to do is leave this fan fic and I'll get twenty of you!"

"You can't leave till my author says you-" Catalina started to say, but Jack jumped on her and started…well, it was almost like he was devouring her face. Yes, it was so romantic.

"Wow, that was good!" Jade H. said, walking up to them. "I like the fake argument. Good job, guys! Next up is Jade S. Yay!"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Jade S.//

Jade S. was laying in her hammock with her hat over her face. Jack came into her room.

"So, your this Captain Jade I keep hearing about," he said.

"Yep."

"So….pretty famous captain that mysteriously came out of nowhere, huh?" He asked.

"Yep."

"….strike fear into the hearts of everyone who hears your name, right?"

"Yep."

"…Pillage much?"

"You want something?"

"Do you like me more then Will?" Jack blurted out.

"Ahhh….Ya know…Kind of…Yeah," Jade S. finally said.

"Ha ha! Will owes me fifty bucks!" Jack jumped up.

"You guys bet on me? You care about so much that you would do that? Ohhhh! Come 'ere!" Jade S. pulled Jack onto the hammock with her.

"Cut! Good job, you two! OK, the next Sue up is Liza!"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Liza//

"Liza, your scene is when your telling Jack all about how your from the Twenty first century and all that. Ready? Action!" Jade H. said, backing away to the cameras.

Liza suddenly burst into tears. "Oh, Jack! I have such a dark secret!" She sobbed.

"What is it, love?" Jack asked, faking concern.

"I must confess. I AM a time traveler!" Liza buried her face in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Don't cry! I love despite the fact that you come from a highly advanced world and have seen all my movies so can probably tell me if I live or die and all that!" Jack said, patting her on the back.

"Oh Jack! Your so great! But I don't deserve you! I lied to you for so long!" Liza whispered.

"Oh, I always knew on some level. Your clothes are so much hotter then ours!" Jack said. "Please don't cry. I really do love you."

"Shhh," Liza whispered, putting her finger on his lips. "You had me at 'clothes.'"

"Aaaaand…Cut!" Jade H. said as they started kissing. "Great scene you guys! I was really moved! The next Sue is Ally!"

XOXOXOXOXO

//Ally//

Ally and Jack were standing in front of Jade H., who was giving them instructions to their challenge.

"Ally, your going to tell Jack all about your Oh So Tragic Past ™ and Jack will be swept away by your angst. Got it? OK, action!"

"Oh, Jack! I can not love you! The last time I loved someone, he tried to kill me six times and cheated on me with my evil twin!" Ally said, making huge tears form in her eyes. Before Jack could even open his mouth, she had turned away and started going into more detail.

"Yes, Jack, it's true. I was a streetwalker! I was young and poor and very pretty, unlike now when I'm so old! I fell in love with someone who came to see me, but then walked in on him with…//sob// Serena! I had been so happy, putting all my trust and love into this one obviously desperate dirt bag, and I got my heart broken! I was finally off the streets, and look what happened. Now I can never love again!"

Again, Jack went to say something, but she rambled on. "Of course, I didn't believe in love from the time I watched my parents die. When I grew up on the streets, I had to beg for food. Then a nice old guy showed me how to steal. Then he //sob// died! He was killed by a rouge chicken! I've never been able to love, trust, or eat chicken from my early childhood!"

One last time Jack tried to say something, but was interrupted. "Then I got caught stealing and was beaten half to death! I managed to escape and that's when I became a streetwalker. After my love broke my heart and tried to kill me, I was miserable and that's when you found me! I have never been so happy as I am when I'm with you!"

"Then why can't we be together?" Jack asked quickly before she could say anything.

"Oh, I forgot. Let's just skip to the Post Tragic Past Revealing Sex ™!" Ally said, hoping onto Jack's bed.

"Cut!" Jade H. said, wiping her eyes. "T-that was so tragic! You poor thing! OK, you can go back to the Sue Ship with the others and wait there until the voting ceremony."

XOXOXOXOXO

//voting ceremony//

All the Sues stood in front of Jade H., who held the pirate hat.

"Mary Sues, you all did really well today. Jessa, that was amazing what you did with the French and Italian there! You made Jack fall in love with you for real!" She said.

Jessa giggled. "Well, any proper Sue can do that!" The others glared at her.

"Uh huh. Liza, that was some good crying on cue we saw out there. How'd you learn that?" Jade H. asked.

"Oh, well, I've just been in so many fics where I have to cry. You sort of just learn," Liza explained.

"Great. Well, lets announce who won immunity. The winner this week is…."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"…Ally."

"Yay!" Ally cried. 

"Now, Ally, you can start the voting."

Ally skipped up to the hat and placed a name in the hat: "Sorry, Jade S."

After everyone had voted, Jade H. took up the hat again. She pulled out the first name. "First vote, Jessa. Next vote, Catalina. Liza. Jessa. And the next person voted out of POTC SUEvivor is….."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"….Jessa."

"Nooo!!!" Jessa cried, falling to her knees.

"That's right, girl! You though you were so good! But I can speak languages as good as you can!" Catalina shouted at her. "You think only you're a 'proper Sue'? I can speak both Portuguese and Spanish!"

"Yeah, well I can do French, Italian, German, Chinese, Japanese, and every other language known to mankind and some that aren't!" Ally shouted back.

Catalina looked like she was going to explode. Then she took off her earrings and tackled Jessa to the ground.

"HEY!! GET OFF OF HER! OH, THAT'S GOTTA HURT! SECURITY! SECURITY!!!!" Jade H. screamed.

"Uh, OK, see you guys next week!" She cried and the remaining Sues ran off to their ship.

END OF CHALLENGE 7.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: The Mary Sues are forced to see what life without their Sueishness would be like when their next challenge involves getting a job.

A/N: I think the next challenge will be my favorite! Now, go on and review. It doesn't take much time to make me really happy, so just do it:D 


	8. Challenge 8: The Working Sue

SUEVIVOR: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

A/N: Kay people, can't you review? I love reviews! L

CHALLENGE 8: WORKING SUES.

Everyone was depressed that Jessa had been voted out. She had been kind of annoying, but a pretty good Sue.  
To make herself feel better, Jade S. was singing the Killer Shrew theme song (twenty points if you know what that is). Everyone else was sitting around eating ice cream.

//Liza's camera//

"This sucks! Of course I want to win, but this show is making me vote out my friends! That's not right!" She said.

//normal cam//

Catalina had stopped trying to be all pirate-y and now acted like a normal person. All the Sues realized how serious things were getting. It was down to four Sues: Catalina, Jade S., Liza, and Ally. Everyone on the Sue Ship was way more determined.

When Jade H.'s ship sailed up next to theirs, all the Sues stood up to meet her.

"Wow," Jade H. said. "You guys are sad. Catalina, you beat her up! What's wrong with you?"

"I don't care about that //bleep//, I just think it's time to put aside my annoyance with anyone else and become the most Sueish person I can be."

"Wow. If that weren't so silly it would be really mature," Jade H. said, nodding. "Anyway, your challenge today is one where you guys will see what your life would be like if you weren't famous Sues. Yep, you'll have to get… A REAL JOB!!" //dramatic music//

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Screamed all the Sues, falling to their knees.

"Yes! Catalina, your job will be at Mcdoggles (disclaimer: Mcdoggles is not a parody of McDonalds, even though that's what gave me the idea)," Jade H. told her.

"S-so I'll be flipping burgers and taking orders from angry hungry people?" Catalina moaned.

"That you will. Jade S., you'll be working at the grocery store, 'Cheapies.' Liza, you know how on pretty much everything there's a number to call if you have questions or comments?"

Liza nodded.

"Well, you'll be taken questions and comments for a candy company," Jade H. told her.

"Oh, well, that won't be so hard. How many calls can a candy company get?" Liza asked.

"A lot. The candy they make sucks. Anyway, Ally, you'll be working at a bank!" Jade H. announced happily.

"WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU PUT THE THEIF SUE IN A BANK?!?!?" Ally screamed.

"Oh…I don't know. There must have been some reason…." Jade H. said. "Anyway, enjoy!" Then she jumped back on her ship and left.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Catalina//

"I hate this show," Catalina said as she put on her hair net. "My hair was not meant to be put net! And look at this uniform! What self respecting Sue wears a uniform?!" She gestured to the yellow shirt that said Mcdoggles on it and black pants. "They misspelled my name!" She cried, pointing to her name tag, which said 'Kataalina.' 

With a sigh, she headed out to the front of the restaurant to take orders from people.  
There was another person standing next to her, telling people all about the menu and stuff.

"You can only get six or twelve Mcdoggles fake real chicken nuggets," The other guy said.

"Well, I'll get a half dozen then," said the woman ordering.

"Miss, I said you can only get six or twelve."

The woman stared at him. "I could get six, but not a half dozen?"

"That's right."

"Oh….Ok…" (A/N: that's a real quote, ya know.)

Catalina jumped when someone slammed their hand down on the counter. "Hello?!" They said rudely.

"Oh, uh, hi! Welcome to Mcdoggles. May I take your order?" Catalina asked, giving the old guy her best Sue smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Listen close, little girl, I'm only gonna say this once. I want twelve Mcdoggles Fake Real Chicken Nuggets, a frosty, a Mcdoggles Burger, and a SMALL drink! Got it?" He snapped.

"Yes, sir. One moment please," Catalina said, going back to the kitchen place where two workers were throwing nuggets at each other.

Catalina found a giant microwave like thing full of already wrapped burgers and stuff and put it all on a tray. She got the frosty and found a 'small' cup for the old guy. The smallest was about twelve inches high.  
She balanced all of that on the tray and turned to leave. Suddenly, a nugget was thrown her way.

Catalina ducked out of the way to avoid being hit in the eye. That part worked, but she spilled the tray of food everywhere.

"Damn you worthless imbeciles!" She shouted at the dude who had thrown it.  
"Help me throw this stuff away!" She commanded.

"What'd ya mean, throw it away? It's still food!" One guy said, bending down to pick up the fallen burger and gave it back to Catalina.

"Oh…But won't the customers be upset if they find out their food touched the floor?" She asked.

"Oh, they don't care as long as it's cheap!" The other guy said.

Catalina shrugged and went back out.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Jade S.//

Jade S. was wearing an orange apron over her clothes. The apron said 'Cheapies' on it.  
She was standing next to a check out counter, ringing up groceries.

"Hey!" Said an angry woman. "This is expired!" She held up a yogurt thing.

"Oh, well, just go get another one and I'll throw it away," Jade S. said.

"Jade!" Her manager said sharply. He walked up to the woman and grabbed the yogurt. He then took out a sharpie and wrote something over the expiration date. "See? Good as new! Throw it away! Ha!"

Jade S. and the other woman stared at him. 00 "That was weird!"

Her next customer was an old lady with three groceries: Bananas, cat food, and chicken soup.

Jade rang up all her stuff and waited for her to pay.

"Well, I have these coupons…" the old woman said, digging through her purse.

FIVE MINUTES LATER.

"Ah, here they are!" She cried, pulling out a hand full of coupons.  
They were all for the same thing.

"Uh, ma'am, the deal is one coupon a purchase," Jade told her.

"WELL, SCREW THAT!" The old lady yelled. "IF YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY-" she paused to look at the total. "-$3.50 FOR ALL THAT, THEN YOU CAN GO TO HELL//bleep//bleep//bleep//!!!" A bunch of people came out and pulled her kicking and screaming from the building.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Liza//

Liza sat in her swiveling desk chair, adjusting her headset. She was waiting for a call, but didn't really believe that a candy company would get that much business.

Suddenly, the phone started ringing.

"Hello, thank you for calling 1-800- Jaw Poppers, the hot line for the only candy that literally explodes in your mouth. My name is Liza, how may I help you?" Liza read from a script on her computer screen.

"Yeah, I can't get this wrapper open!" The person on the other line said.

"Oh…did you try pulling the tab?" Liza asked.

There was a pause over the phone.

"Oh hey! That worked! Thanks Liza!" And they hung up.

Liza smiled and leaned back. Then the phone rang again.

"Hello, thank you for calling 1-800- Jaw Poppers, the hot line for the only candy that literally explodes in your mouth. My name is Liza, how may I help you?"

"AAAA!! WHAT IS THIS IN THE CANDY BAR?!? MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!" The person cried.

"Well, it could be anything. Unfortunately, we are not authorized to say what is in the candy. Though it's probably the red peppers," Liza said.

"You put red peppers in your candy?!" The person screamed.

"I don't know. I only work here for the day because I'm on SUEvivor," Liza said.

"Oh yeah! Your Liza Johnson! Yeah, I can't stand you!" Said the person.

Liza blinked. "Really? Well, go to hell!"

XOXOXOXOXOXO

//Ally//

Ally was working a bank, and was pretty happy about it. She had broken in to the safe already and stolen lots of money. Plus, it was a slow day, so she had had no customers.

Now, she sat at the main desk and filed her nails happily. Until some guy came to the front of the desk.

"Hi, I need to (insert complicated bank thing, here)," he said.

Ally stared at him blankly. Then she threw some money at him. "There, now leave me alone."

"HEY! THAT'S A MARY SUE!!" Someone cried. There was a stampede of people rushing up to get her autograph.

"Yes! This is perfect! Now I don't have to work!" Ally said as she started giving out autographs.  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

//later//

Jade H. stood in front of the Sues.  
"Ladies, you all did great today. Catalina, you did make an old man sick by giving him that food, but it wasn't really your fault, so we're not taking any points for it.

"Jade S., you worked at Cheapies grocery store. How was that?" Jade H. asked.

"It was weird. They arrested an eighty year old woman!" Jade S. said.

"Yeah, I saw that on the news! That WAS weird! Anyway, Liza, you worked for Jaw Poppers. What was that like?" Jade H. asked.

"I have never talked on the phone that long!" Liza cried. "How is that candy even legal?!"

"I don't know. I think it's just barely legal. Ally, you didn't actually work at the bank, you kind of just…gave people your autograph. But it was a Sueish thing to do, so we won't take to many points. Tonight's immunity winner is…."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"….Liza."

"Yes!" Liza cried.

"Alright, lets start the voting," Jade H. said, picking up the pirate hat.

Liza went up and voted for Ally. Then Jade S. went, then Ally, then Catalina.

"OK, first vote, Ally. Next vote…Jade S. Catalina. And the next person voted out of POTC SUEvivor is….

ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"….Ally."

"NO! I'M AWESOME!" Ally screamed.

"Sorry, but you needed to go. You threatened us with your beauty," Liza explained.

"Oh, well that does make sense," Ally reasoned, walking away.

"Yeah right! Sues aren't threatened by anyone's beauty!" Catalina said.

"Yeah, I just said that to get her off my back," Liza told her.

"Alright Sues, see you next week," Jade H. said, and all the Sues left.

END OF CHALLENGE 8.

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: There are only three Sues left in the competition. Tune in for the second to the last challenge that will decided who the final Sues are!

A/N: I can't believe no one reviewed! ( What's up with that? L Please review this chapter! 


	9. realChallenge 8: The Shopping spree

SUEVIVOR: POTC

A/N: Well, I noticed that the chapters are screwed up. This would actually be challenge 8, and last challenge would be challenge 7. Also, I made this quiz on quizilla. Com to see which one of these Sues whoever takes it is. One problem though: I screwed it up, so no matter what you pick, you get Catalina. Oh well. It's got really good pictures of the Sues that I made on meez. com, so take it and go to 'see all results' to see the Sues. I'll put the link on my profile.

CHALLENGE 8: SHOPPING SPREE.

Now everyone was REALLY depressed about Ally. She was cool, but she had to go.  
Now, Catalina sat in her hammock, painting her nails bright blue to match her outfit, Jade S. was chewing mint gum, and Liza was angsting about how no one understood her pain.

"Guys, after this challenge, there's only going to be two of us left!" Liza said suddenly.  
"I'm gonna miss you guys! I've had so much fun!"

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss you all too!" Jade S. said, though she was blowing a bubble just then, so it was hard to understand.

"GROUP HUG!" Catalina cried, hopping off the hammock. "Just don't touch the nails."

"Wow, that's so touching," Jade H. said. She came down to the Sues sleeping place and waited for them to stop crying.

When they finally stopped sobbing and saying, "Oh my gwad, you guys! I'm like, so gonna miss you!" Jade H. told them their challenge.

"In honor of the second to the last episode, We're giving you a challenge that you'll really like: A shopping challenge!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" The Sues screamed, jumping up and down, totally forgetting their sorrow. 

"THAT'S RIGHT! ALL THREE OF YOU WILL BE GIVEN 15 MINUTES TO-" Jade H. yelled over the Sues. "Ahem, given 15 minutes to chose the most Sueish outfit you can find. And you will only have 50 bucks. Now, your not allowed to go to Mary Sues 'R' Us or anything, so you'll have to shop at normal people stores. Good luck," Jade H. said, going back upstairs.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Catalina//

Catalina ran happily off the ship.  
"I'm so excited! Finally a challenge I can totally get!" She cried, cornily clapping her hands.  
"Now, what do I need to get for the best Mary Sue outfit in the world?" She whipped out a pen and paper and started making a list.

"Well, obviously I'll need fishnets. Hmmm, some thigh high boots, short shorts, and a fishnet shirt. Yep, that ought to do it!" She cried, running to the nearest store on the island.

The store she came to was the only store left: SuperMart. It's slogan was 'Always low prices cause we pay the children in China who make our stuff five cents a day!'

"Well, this sounds like a great place!" Catalina cried. Then she looked at a random clock. "OHMYGOD! I HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT!" She screamed, running into the store.

When she entered, she was in heaven. Clothes were everywhere, along with food, music, and other stuff that was really cheap. On every sign was a smiley face holding a gun that said, "Buy this, or you die!"

Catalina walked through the clothes section, looking at her list. The first thing she came to was the short shorts.  
She picked up a particularly short pair made of leather with a little belt on them.  
"These are cute, but do they say, 'I'm awesome, but I will kick your ass if I have to'?"

All the camera people nodded.

"Great! Now let's go look for the shirt!" Catalina said, heading off to look for shirts.

She looked for ten minutes and then finally found the fishnet shirts in the little girls section.  
"Awesome!" She said. She somehow fit into the shirt to try it on and then put it in her cart.

In the kids section she found the fishnets and then, with three minutes left, she found boots that fit her perfectly.

She threw some money at the cashiers and raced out the door.

XOXOXOXO

//Jade S.//

Jade S. wasn't quite sure what to get. In her experience, all Mary Sues wore the same things: Mini skirt, corset style shirt, fishnets, and combat boots, so that's what she decided to get.

Jade S. walked across the island where the ship and stopped until she came to civilization. The first store she saw, of course, was SuperMart, but she hated it so she walked further to go somewhere else.

Finally she reached a store called 'Hott Topix (not a knock off of Hot Topic.  
She went into it and was bombarded with pink, 'preppy' stuff (I've never been into a Hot Topic, so I'm making this up.  
She almost threw up with all the tween girl crap, but managed to force her way through the crowd to the front deck. 

"I need a red lacey corset, a leather mini skirt, combat boots, and fishnets!" She yelled. Suddenly, everyone stopped talking and the annoying music stopped playing.

"OHMYGOD! YOUR ON SUEVIVOR! YOUR LIKE, TOTALLY MY IDOL!!" One girl screamed, running up to Jade S. She was dressed like the stereotypical tween girl and was texting her friends as she ran.  
"I've wanted to be an author insert since I was a little girl! I've even written a Sue, but she wasn't good enough to be on SUEvivor! Can I have your autograph?!"

"Ummm," Jade S. looked at the clock on the wall. She only had 15 minutes left. "If you help me find everything I need to win this competition, all of you can have my autograph, and the other Sues autograph!"

All the girls screamed and raced off to bring Jade S. whatever she needed.

XOXOXOXOXO

//Liza//

Liza had other ideas of what a Sue was supposed to wear. She was going for goth/vampire/angst Sue.

She wondered around the island for ten minutes before she came to a store called Death Becomes Her Vampire Boutique.  
"That looks perfect!" She cried, entering the store.

The walls of the store were painted black and blood splattered.  
When she opened the door, there wasn't the usual tinkle of a bell; it was the mournful sound of church bells. "Now that figures," Liza commented.  
The store was full of dark vampire and goth clothes, plus shelves full of dark make up.

"Can I help you?" Asked a mysterious voice from behind her. Liza turned around to find a black haired Sue wearing what looked like an open black robe with a sash loosely tied around it her waist. She also had fangs.

"Uh, yeah. I'm looking for something like this:" Liza held up a picture of a goth woman wearing a low cut, lace covered black dress and combat boots.

"Yes, of course. The only problem is, your not a Goth!Sue," the mysterious woman said.

"Yeah, but I was hoping you could help me with that," Liza said.

"Well….lets see…We'll have to change your hair, or course. Brown will never do. You'll need a total makeover…" The Sue said.

"Um, what's your name?" Liza asked, as the Sue circled around her, measuring her.

"I am Lakara, queen of the vampires!" Lakara declared.

"Queen of the vampires? Then why do you work here?" Liza asked.

"Never you mind," Lakara snapped.

XOXOXOXOXO

//later//

All the Sues walked back to their ship in slow motion so the cameras caught their hair flowing sexily in the wind.  
They stopped in front of Jade H. and waited for her to talk.

"OK, let's start with Liza," she said.  
Liza was wearing the dress she had wanted, but now her hair was streaked blood red. She was wearing pale make up and of course, fishnets. Not to mention the dark eye shadow and such.

"Why did you chose this outfit?" Jade H. asked.

"Well, lately there seems to be lots of Goth!Sues going around, maybe not in POTC Sues, but all over the fan fiction universe. I always wondered what it would be like if I was goth, so I decided to do this!" Liza said happily.

"Well, it's very different, that's for sure. Catalina, what would you like to say about your outfit?" Jade H. asked.

"Well, I just know that most Mary Sues wear inappropriate clothes, so I thought this would work," Catalina said. The shorts, top, and boots fit her perfectly.

"Wow, I think your ready to get your hooker license!" Jade H. said, rolling her eyes.  
"Now Jade S., what about you?"

"This is pretty much the Mary Sue uniform, so I wanted to wear it. My wonderful fans helped me," Jade S. said. "By the way, all of you have to give them your autographs." Jade S. looked pretty good, in her Sue outfit. The other girls had helped her with make up to complete the I'm-not-a-tramp-but-anyone-else-who-wore-this-would-be look.

"Well, your all very nice, but only one can win immunity. And that winner is…."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"…Catalina, for being the most Sueish and yet creative with her outfit!"

"Yes! I rock!" Catalina cried, punching the air.

"Well, since we're here, lets just do the voting," Jade H. said, pulling the pirate hat from behind her back.  
"Catalina will go first."

Catalina came up and wrote Jade S. on a piece of paper. "Sorry girl, but it's just real the Sues now."

After Liza and Jade S. went, Jade H. grabbed the hat and pulled out the first name. "First vote, Liza. Second vote, Jade S. And the next person voted out of POTC SUEvivor is…"

YES, TWENTY MINUTES LATER.

"…Jade S. Ya know, just once I'd like to win this thing!"

"I'm so sorry, girl," Liza said.

"It's OK," Jade S. sighed, walking off.

"Sues, I'll see you next week for your final challenge!"

NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: We find out who the next SUEvivor is on the final episode of SUEvivor POTC!

A/N: Wow, thanks for reviewing! I guess whining does get you what you want! Please review this chapter! 


	10. THE FINAL CHALLENGE

SUEVIVOR: POTC

A/N: Wow, lots of people reviewed and took the quiz! How nice of you guys! Hope you guys like this chapter! u

CHALLENGE 9: THE FINAL CHALLENGE

Catalina and Liza were the last Sues on the ship.  
Things were quiet now because Catalina and Liza didn▓t have much in common. Liza missed Jade S. and the other fun Sues.

//Liza▓s cam//

⌠I can▓t believe I▓m here! One of the two final Sues! This is the best day of my life!■

//Catalina▓s cam//

⌠I knew this day would come. My mother (before she was tragically murdered before my eyes of course) would spend hours teaching me how to be this best Sue I could be. She beat me with a stick if I did something un-Sueish. God I miss her.■

//normal cam//

⌠Well, guess we better get packed, huh?■ Liza asked.

⌠Aye aye, me hearty,■ Catalina responded, getting off her hammock to pack her pirate outfits up. She decided she better start acting more like a Pirate!Sue if she wanted to win.

A while later, Liza and Catalina dragged their stuffed suitcases up the stairs to the front deck to wait for Jade H.  
Liza looked around the ship sadly.  
⌠I▓m gonna miss this place. So many good times.■

⌠Are you kidding? It was boring as hell!■ Catalina cried.

⌠Oh, yeah.■

They stood silently on deck, looking out to the horizon.  
Finally, they saw a ship coming.  
Jade H. jumped out of her ship onto theirs.

⌠Hi, Sues,■ she said solemnly. ⌠I hope your all ready to go. How▓re you guys feeling?■

⌠Like I been swallowed by the Kraken an spit back out. But I▓m optimistic about winning!■ Catalina cried.

⌠I think she▓s trying to say that she hopes she wins, but feels bad about her friends not being here,■ Liza said. ⌠I have to say I feel the same way.■

⌠Well, good luck to you both. Now we have to go back to the site of your first challenge,■ Jade H. said, leading them to her ship.

XOXOXOXOX

In true Survivor fashion, the Sues and Jade H. were transported to the little tavern place that was now filled with screaming fans.  
Catalina and Liza didn▓t look like they▓d been on a ship with no shower for weeks. They had been cleaned up and were dressed nicely.

⌠Wow! This is awesome!■ Liza cried, waving to her fans. She and Catalina took their seats across from Jade H.

⌠Well, ladies, you▓ve both done extremely well in this competition, but only one of you can be the ultimate POTC Mary Sue. In the first challenge, you both gave very Sueish answers to your tough questions, but Zsarojiu won immunity because of the angst of her answer.  
In the second challenge, you had to find the treasure that was buried somewhere on the beach. Both of you did some pretty weird stuff. Catalina, what made you decided to just threaten others into doing it for you?■ Jade H. asked.

⌠Oh, I just thought it would be easier,■ Catalina said bluntly.

⌠Oh┘.OK, I thought you▓d have something incredibly Sueish, but whatever. Liza, you used a metal detector. What▓s up with that?■

⌠Well, I figured that all Sues break the laws of their universe, so why shouldn▓t I? Also, it made things easier,■ Liza told her.

⌠Mmm hmm, mmm hmmm, so then on the third challenge, you were supposed to sail your ship. SOMEHOW you guys managed to sink it and it cost us tons of money to replace. I▓m not even gonna ask about that one. On your forth challenge, you had to act out a typical, clichИ fan fic scene. Jade S. won that, but you both came very close. Liza, how do you think you did on that challenge?■ Jade H. asked her.

⌠I thought I did very good. I mean, I-Fell-Into-POTC!Sues always let it slip that their from the future and yet no one cares, so yes, I thought it was great,■ Liza told her.

⌠OK. Then on your fifth challenge, you Sues were forced to live on an island inhabited by cannibals. Nobody won that one because Mary got hurt and was forced to leave. Man we do a lot of forcing on this show! Anyway, Catalina, how do you think your time went?■

⌠Well, I managed to befriend the monkeys which was good because they provided me with food and shelter. I did awesomely and you all know it!■ Catalina said, tossing her long blond hair.

⌠Only cause you had help from the monkeys!■ Liza muttered. Catalina glared at her.

⌠Um right, anyway┘.Your next challenge was the dating game. Again, you both did well, but Ally won. Jeez, how did you two get here anyway?! Well, Liza, you did pretty good on that challenge. You did pretty well when revealing you▓re a time traveler. What was that like for you?■ Jade H. said.

⌠It was great! I had so much fun with Jack!■ Liza said, clapping her hands.

⌠Uh, I did great, too!■ Catalina said indignantly.

⌠Course you did. Your next challenge was one where you guys had to get a job. Catalina, you worked at Mcdoggles. What was that like?■

⌠//sniff/ Horrible! They made me WORK!!! I didn▓t know you had to work when you have a job!■ Catalina sobbed. Liza sniggered.

⌠Oh you poor little pretty girl,■ Jade H. said sarcastically. ⌠Any who, your next challenge was by far the most enjoyable. You had to go shopping for the most Sueish outfit you could find. Liza, you had a Goth!Sue outfit, which was pretty good, but Catalina finally won something. So how did you feel about that?■

⌠I thought it was totally unfair! What▓s more Sueish then a beautiful, mysterious, incredible, misunderstood goth girl?!■ Liza cried.

⌠Well, yeah, that▓s pretty Sueish, but not for POTC. Now, your final challenge will be one where you both have thirty seconds to tell the SUEvivor viewers why you should be picked. Ready? Catalina, you first,■ Jade H. announced.

Catalina stood up and smiled at her fans. ⌠Well, just think how many fics there are starring me? I▓m so obviously the most Sueish because Suethors keep writing me! And I▓m blond! All blonds must win!■ She finished her speech and sat back down.

Liza stuck her tongue out at her and stood up, too. ⌠Well, I▓m the most Sueish person around! I do everything according to Sue law, and I have extra incredibleness because I▓m a time traveler! That gives me special powers, intense hotness, I break the laws of POTC, and everything else that makes a POTC Sue a Sue! So vote for me America (and people from other countries who are reading this), because without me, there would be no POTC Sueniverse!■ Liza sat back down triumphantly as her fans roared with cheers.

⌠OK, girls, now the viewers will vote. But of course, they aren▓t the only ones that matter. We have a surprise guest ready to judge your Sueishness and vote!■ Jade H. told the camera. Out from behind a long red curtain stepped the most beautiful Sue in the history of Sues. She had hair that was somehow blond and red, with streaks of dark brown. It was flowing, soft, cascading, long, curly, strait, and everything else hair can be. Her eyes changed color of course, but now they glowed golden and green.  
Her skin was pale as virgin snow and yet perfectly tanned. She was dressed as a pirate, but she was much more then that.

⌠Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Marina Amethyst Rocella Yoshuxina Sandrena Unoco Eva Turner Swan, last years winner of SUEvivor: POTC! She▓s a Pirate!Sue who started out as Will and Elizabeth▓s twin sister (don▓t know how that happened, but oh well) and then ran away from her cruel adoptive parents, became a Japanese slave, and then finally a Pirate! Oh, and she was transported here from the 21st century. And can do magic,■ Jade H. announced over the cheering. Marina Amethyst Rocella Yoshuxina Sandrena Unoco Eva Turner Swan smiled dazzlingly at the crowd and many fainted.

⌠OK, people, you▓ve met your final Sues and your celebrity judge, it▓s time to vote! Whoever wins will go down in history as the Ultimate Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sue, win a billion dollars, and star in countless fan fictions throughout the world. Please start voting,■ Jade H. said. A silence filled the room as people voted and viewers around the world called in with their votes.

After some tense minutes of tense music and tense Sues, Jade H. said, ⌠I▓ll go tally up the votes.■ She opened a treasure trunk and pulled out a piece of paper. ⌠And the ultimate Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sue of 2007 is┘■

AFTER A HALF HOUR OF COMMERCIALS.

⌠┘..Liza Depp!■

People started screaming and cheering and Liza started crying. A tiara was put on her head, and sash placed around her shoulders, and a big bouquet of roses put in her arms.

Jade H. gave her a giant check for a billion dollars and turned to the camera. ⌠Well, that▓s all for SUEvivor: POTC! Join us next season on SUEvivor!■

LATER.

Liza went on to star in lots and lots of fics and set up a school for POTC Sues. She also worked on the campaign that Sues were actually good, but even after seeing tons of pro-Sue commercials and watching Liza kiss babies and stuff, the people remained unconvinced.

As the runner up, Catalina also starred in tons of fics and became the national spokesperson for a huge scale make up company, trying to make people think that using the product would make them look like her instead of turn their faces green.

They all lived happily ever after!

THE END

A/N: Oh, now I▓m sad. There will be a second season, but it▓s with Eragon Sues. Please review this chapter! Hope you guys liked it! D 


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